I received the article below through e-mail about 2 years ago but I can't recall anymore who sent me.

Fr Felix

A husband wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is aspirin with a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees all his clothing all cleaned up and pressed. He looks around the room and sees all spotless, clean and in perfect order. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirin and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the table. I left early to go grocery shopping. Love yah!"

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and there is the hot breakfast and morning newspaper. His son is also there having his breakfast. He asks: "Son, what happened last night?"

Sexless marriage: Can you get a visa even if you admit it?

"Consummatum est." (It is consummated)
-- Jesus Christ's last words during his crucifixion.

An elderly Ilocano gentleman and his young wife appeared for a visa interview in San Francisco.
"Sir, was your marriage consummated?" the officer inquired.
"Anya ti cayat na nga saoen ti consummated?" (What does she mean by consummated), the man asked his lawyer.
"Ag yal ala kayo ken ni baket mo?" (Do you have sex with your wife), the lawyer whispered.
"Oh, yes, we consummate every night," the man gleefully replied.
"Sir, you can only consummate a marriage once," interjected the immigration officer.
"I don't know about you ma'am, but we do it every night," he bragged.
The lawyer elbowed the man to stop.

There is "nuptial imagery" in the Biblical word "consummation" which is the act by which a couple seals their marriage. "The death on the Cross is the act by which our Divine Bridegroom sealed His marriage covenant with His Bride, the Church." Pi Lamba Upsilon.

P/SUPT. DANIEL ARRIETA COSTALES (RET.)

(January 3, 1956 - February 14, 2010)

Peacefully joined our Creator on February 14, 2010.

"Are you telling us that fondling the breasts of an 11-year old woman is not sexual abuse?" exclaimed the agitated lady judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals.

"Yes, your honor. It may be sexual assault but it is not sexual abuse," responded the lawyer (not Filipino, not Americano). He was representing a Filipino charged with fondling the breasts of an 11-year old girl and then preventing her from escaping when he was working as a convenience store clerk in Waikiki Beach in Hawaii in 1992. The Filipino's story is all over the papers in Hawaii. See Honolulu Advertiser, 02/07/ 2010.  He is said to be a church leader in Honolulu's Kalihi district. He has a family and children. He has reportedly been in the Federal Detention Center since 2007.

Was the lawyer making a distinction without a difference?

SEXUAL ABUSE vs. SEXUAL ASSAULT

The Filipino was charged, in addition to kidnapping for preventing the girl from escaping, with sexual assault in the third degree in violation of Hawaii Revised Statutes § 707-732(1)(b) which provides: (1) A person commits the offense of sexual assault in the third degree if: . . .(b) The person knowingly subjects to sexual contact another person who is less than fourteen years old or causes such a person to have sexual contact with the other person."  He pleaded nolo contendere (no contest).